On the future of MPs' expenses
Press coverage of MP Tony McNulty's expense claims for a house his parents lived in have sent political debate into new directions. Perhaps, it was suggested, Members of Parliament should live in rented accommodation.
Perhaps, even, they could live in shared accommodation - a large block of flats, a bit like academic Halls of Residence. What would that be like?
Let's go forward in time to later this year, after the hasty passing of the Members of Parliament (Overnight Accommodation) Act 2009.
This has brought to an end to the system of allowances used to pay for second homes, and a new beginning for Pimlico View House, a block of private flats (originally built as council housing in 1961). The entire block has been re-fitted as "student style" accommodation for MPs, capable of sleeping 700 people in small rooms clustered around shared kitchens...
SCENE: A large kitchen. There is a view from the window - we must be about 10 floors up. We can see Parliament over the rooftops, and the London Eye nearby.
JACQUI SMITH (Lab, Redditch) strolls in. She is wearing a baggy dressing gown. She ambles to the fridge, pulls out some milk, puts the kettle on.
JOHN PRESCOTT (Lab, Hull East) enters. He wears baggy pyjamas and a bowler hat. He speaks to Smith's back.
PRESCOTT: Morning Jacks love, make us a cup of tea.
SMITH: Make your own you lazy tosser.
She turns to face him, bobbing a teabag up and down in the cup.
PRESCOTT (shielding his eyes): Oh crikey Jacks, put 'em away will you? It's too early in the morning!
SMITH: Tosser.
She flings the teabag in the bin and leaves, taking her tea with her.
PRESCOTT chuckles, stretches, then walks to the fridge.
PRESCOTT (to himself): Right, what treasures have we got this morning?
He rummages. Pulls out a plastic bag, opens it.
PRESCOTT: Hmmm, ham. Meat sandwich?
More rummaging. He pulls out cheese, tomatoes, and a small jar.
PRESCOTT: Oooh, pesto. Smashing.
He turns to the worktop and spreads out his feast. He opens a cupboard, apparently at random, and pulls out a loaf of bread. He cut two huge doorstep slices and starts making his sandwich: ham, cheese, tomato, pesto. Crumbs and bits fly everywhere. Sandwich made, Prescott starts eating it and walks out of the kitchen, leaving the mess of construction behind him pausing only to reach into the fridge again, grab a carton of freshly squeezed orange juice from the door, and exit holding sandwich in one hand and juice in the other.
There is quiet for a moment.
In walks DAVID CAMERON, in jogging gear and brilliant-white trainers. He is talking on a mobile phone.
CAMERON (Con, Witney) (into phone): ... and if that's the way he wants to play, it, well fine by me. Tell him I've had bloggers strung up for less. If he's not prepared to back down when he is so clearly wrong, he's going to get a shock.
Still talking, Cameron spots the mess left by Prescott.
CAMERON (still into phone): What the hell? Bloody Prescott. No, not you, my bloody housemate.
Still holding the phone, Cameron steps over to the fridge and opens it.
CAMERON: BASTARD! No, not you. Look, can I call you back? Yes, yes, I'll approve the policy document later. Some arsehole's nicked my orange juice again, and I bet I know who it is. Speak later. Yeah. Ciao.
He hangs up. Puts his hands on his hips, surveys the kitchen. Then shouts again over his shoulder:
CAMERON: PRESCOTT! Come here you dirty thieving bastard!
SMITH returns, drinking the last of her tea. She speaks to CAMERON without looking up.
SMITH: Nicked your milk again, has he?
CAMERON: No, this time it's my freshly squeezed orange juice. Bastard. That cost me nearly four pounds and I was looking forward to it this morning. Got a Shadow Cabinet meeting this morning you know, and half a litre of juice gets me nicely pepped up for it -
SMITH (almost ignoring him): Mmmmm.
CAMERON: - packed with vitamins, a real pick-me-up for the morning. Ah! There you are!
PRESCOTT strolls in, big smile on his face. He wipes his lips on his sleeve.
PRESCOTT: Good morning school. Say hello to teacher.
CAMERON: Look here you windbag, where's my freshly squeezed orange juice? I left it right here on the fridge door. It had my name written on it and everything, precisely so that it couldn't get stolen.
PRESCOTT (wide-eyed): Really? And still someone's napped it? Tut tut. What's this country coming to?
CAMERON: Exactly my point! It's thieving bastards like you who run this country, and thieving bastards like you who keep stealing my stuff from the fridge. Why can't you go and buy your own food instead of nicking everyone else's? That juice cost me nearly four -
PRESCOTT: Look, you can nick some of mine and we'll be all square, all right?
CAMERON: But you only buy that cheap shit from Aldi! We won't be square at all. And anyway, I'm not a thief. Give me four pounds, then we'll be square. I'm going to go and buy myself a mini fridge to keep in my room.
SMITH: Can't do that. Not allowed. The Members of Parliament (Overnight Accommodation) Act 2009 says clearly: all members shall be granted the same identical accommodation units within Pimlico View House, Westminster. No pets. No loud music. No parties. And no electrical appliances in rooms.
CAMERON: This is just bloody ridiculous.
SMITH: Your fault, though.
CAMERON: It is not!
PRESCOTT: Yes it is, boy scout. It was your lot that kicked up a fuss about expenses in the first place. Your lot that set the ball rolling. Your lot that came up with this fantastic idea.
He waves his arms around, indicating the whole building.
CAMERON: Well I'm going to get a bloody fridge anyway, and declare it in the Register of Members Interests. It's all very well having all of us locked in here from Monday to Thursday, but no good to anyone if we starve to death is it?
PRESCOTT belches.
PRESCOTT: That was a delicious ham sandwich.
SMITH: Ham? HAM? That was my ham you tosser!
She slaps him across the face.
PRESCOTT raises his fist to strike her back, but CAMERON shouts.
CAMERON: Pack it in both of you. For Goodness' Sake John, you wouldn't hit a woman would you?
PRESCOTT: Well she started it.
SMITH: I -
Suddenly loud music starts playing from another room. It's Queen's Greatest Hits. All three of them look in that direction, then at each other.
SMITH: That wanker Darling again.
PRESCOTT: I've told him before. I bloody told him.
SMITH: "No loud music." Can't he read?
PRESCOTT: No better than he can count.
CAMERON (rolling up sleeves): Right, come on. You two grab him, I throw the stereo out the window.
SMITH: Right.
PRESCOTT: Right.
They all exit. There are shouts, scuffling sounds, and the music suddenly stops. Then there's a brief "NO!" and the sound of a window breaking.
There's a silence. Then we hear another voice.
DARLING (Lab, Edingburgh South West): I borrowed that off Gordon, you know.
Monday, March 30, 2009
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Updating Facebook, the horror
Quite a while ago now, I idly decided to connect my Twitter account to my Facebook account. No harm in that is there, I thought.
That done, I forgot about it. I post to Twitter all the time, but very very rarely bother to visit Facebook.
I also forgot about the Twitter connection. But my Facebook contacts didn't forget. They've been seeing my every Twitter post ever since, and, because they are mostly old friends and family members and not Twitter users, they've been thinking that I SPEND ALL MY TIME UPDATING MY FACEBOOK STATUS.
And that's terrifying. I don't want people to think I spend all day looking at Facebook.
Why don't I? Why do I mind them thinking that, but I don't mind them thinking I spend all day on Twitter? It's odd. I think it's because ordinary people think people who post on Facebook all the time are nuts. And ought to be using their time more constructively.
I have now disconnected my Twitterings from my Facebookings. Perhaps some of my Facebook buddies will notice and wonder why I'm not posting much there any more; the truth is, I was never intending to post there in the first place.
Friday, March 27, 2009
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Audioboo sends audio from your iPhone to the web, and it's fun
We have Flickr for our photos, and we have YouTube or Vimeo for our videos. We have dozens of sites for our words.
What places exist for us to store our audio?
There are a handful, and the one that comes closest to Flickr is Soundcloud, but even that isn't the same at all in spirit. Flickr is for the sharing of creativity; Soundcloud is aimed at musicians and audio professionals who need to share large files as part of their working day.
Huffduffer is wonderful, so nice to look at as well as to listen to. But it's not made for storing audio, only for easily playing audio that's already hosted elsewhere.
Today I discovered Audioboo, which fills a little niche all of its own. It's not a Flickr-for-audio, at least, it isn't yet. But it is a lovely idea coupled with some smart mobile software.
The Audioboo team are the first to admit that their web site is a little ropey:
"We debated long and hard about releasing this version, since there’s a much better one in the works and the website needs a fair amount of work. But we decided to get it out there and see what happens."
But after 10 minutes of playing with their iPhone app, I'm enjoying myself. It lets you capture and record audio (crisply and clearly), tag with with text tags (meh) and annotate it with a photo (oh - fabulous idea), then fling the whole lot up to the web in an instant.
The app's user feedback is fabulous. When you're uploading, the screen slowly fills upwards - and helpful text notes are displayed on top. When you're playing back other people's audio snippets, you see the circular playback progress widget that is shown when playing music previews from the iTunes Store. When recording, there's only one button (for start and stop), and a gorgeous levels display. It's smart, but it's simple.
As for the web site: well, they're right: it does need a fair amount of work. Stuff is missing, stuff doesn't work, and it's very basic. You can see your uploads, there's a widget for embedding them elsewhere (as you might have noticed scattered around this post), and you can link your Audioboo account to Twitter or Facebook. But there's still lots of work to do.
But there are plenty of signs that these people have clue. Their blog is what all corporate blogs should be - honest, open, and funny. There are feeds hidden in all sorts of places. You can get a feed of new posts, of a user's posts, or subscribe to specific audio tags in iTunes if you like.
So I have high hopes for Audioboo; I shall be uploading more silly songs and daft whisperings in future, I'm sure.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
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Noticing spring
Last Friday I made a note of everything I could see that was spring-like. The results, alongside the notes of my Morning News colleagues, were assembled and edited into One Spring Day; a profile of a new season.
Monday, March 23, 2009
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Photos from February
Friday, March 20, 2009
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Stories in symmetry
Ear story
Full story: Symmetry - ears
Eye story
Full story: Symmetry - eyes
Zigzag story
Full story: Symmetry - zigzags
Software story
I keep finding super little photography apps for the iPhone, and these were created using the latest discovery, Symmetry. It cost me just over a pound and has so far provided hours of fun, and I suspect will provide many more. I like the way you can play with symmetry, adding new axes as you go, saving images to your phone's camera roll whenever you see something interesting. Saving an image doesn't interrupt your doodling, it's quickly saved and you can move on.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
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Meet the King-Halls
A few years ago, someone introduced me to a gentleman who lives nearby, with the words: "You might be able to help him out with some web stuff."
The gentleman was Dick Perceval-Maxwell, retired Naval officer, and current guardian of the diaries of his ancestors: several generations of them also Naval officers.
Dick's family records went back about 200 years, and took the reader to every part of the globe. Along the way there was battle, adventure and scandal, all of it faithfully recorded on paper. What Dick wanted to do was put it all online.
The results are now finally in a fit state to be presented to the world, in the form of a Google Sites-powered site simply called King-Hall Connections.
Getting it this far has been an enormous task. Dick, now retired, is blessed with lots of time on his hands. I was his guide around the weirdness that is the web, and along the way I managed to send him down a number of wrong turns and dark alleys. The technical challenges were considerable, despite the site being almost entirely text-based.
Most of the text started life as Word documents, and many of you will know just how horrible they can be to get converted into sensible HTML. My first attempt to build the site did just that - running the Word files through Word's "Save as Web Page" command and trying to string the resulting pages together as a functional site.
The pages were huge, Word's HTML output was abysmal, and simple tasks like embedding links within paragraphs became overwhelmingly complex. Dick kept sending me updates and I fell further and further behind. We needed a new approach, one that would let him do most of the actual web editing work.
I considered lots of options, among them:
- a Blosxom site (abandoned because I didn't think it would solve any of our problems)
- a Wordpress blog (abandoned because the source material didn't go well with the blog format)
- a clone of Phil Gyford's Pepys Diary project (abandoned because Dick wasn't keen on the idea of turning the diaries into short blog-style posts)
- an iWeb site (abandoned because that would still require me to do all the work; Dick does not have a Mac)
- a site powered by something similar to iWeb, but which runs on Windows (I could find no such software)
- a Google Group or Yahoo Group (abandoned because a mailing list wasn't the answer either)
Finally, I realised that the solution was a wiki. Something that Dick himself could edit, and I could help him with as and when required. I toyed with MediaWiki, but found it overcomplicated.
Then I remembered Jottit. I showed it to Dick, and he was delighted. Both of us were taken by its simplicity. Dick worked very quickly and soon had the majority of the diaries and documents online.
But then we ran into problems. The Jottit site began to be unreliable; our requests for help were ignored to start with. All of Dick's emails to Jottit were unanswered. In desperation, I emailed Jottit co-founder Aaron Swartz directly, and he was briefly helpful. But the site remained broken.
Stuck for a solution, I was on the verge of re-installing MediaWiki, and then Google made an announcement: it was re-launching Google Sites.
Finally, here was a service that solved all the problems. Editing was simple and Dick grasped the essentials of it in no time. What's more, it was backed by Google: we both felt that we could depend on it as a service (Dick was understandably nervous about trusting third parties after the mess he got into with Jottit).
So finally, after years of trying to find the best way to put all his millions of words online, we've done it. King-Hall Connections won't be of interest to everyone, but delve into it and you'll find many eye-opening accounts of the way people used to live, and the ways they used to sail.
Needless to say, the site remains a work-in-progress. The next step will be to add some illustrations, and some supporting PDF documents. But thanks to Google Sites' superb UI, user support (a technical hitch encountered in the first few hours was answered - and fixed - by someone at Google as soon as we reported it) and excellent built-in search, Dick and I are both confident that this site will be online, and useful to Naval historians everywhere, for many years to come.
Monday, March 16, 2009
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Been bakin'
Monday, March 16, 2009
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Frog on our front door
Friday, March 13, 2009
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Red coat
Thursday, March 12, 2009
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Gardening leave
Sadly, my engagement as a contributor to Cult of Mac has come to an end, so I have been enjoying not having to scrape the Mac web for news and ideas. Instead, I have been allowing myself time:
Time to dig over the garden.
Time to daydream.
Time to read books.
Time to write a book.
Time, after the digging and daydreaming is done, to cook. Proper food. With which to feed my lovely family.
It's very refreshing.
I have spent two days digging our side garden, with nothing but the birdsong, the rain, and brief periods of sunshine for company. I have not missed the internet, Twitter, Farcebook, blogs or email in the slightest. In fact, it's been a pleasure to be able to ignore them.
Instead, I have been able to focus my thoughts on practical problems. If I want to widen that path, it means I have to moved that vegetable bed. Which means I have to move that compost bin. Which means I have to empty it out and move it somewhere else. Which means I have to prepare a spot to move it to. Cascading conundrums, considered chronologically.
The best bit is: the work in the garden isn't anywhere near to being finished. There's loads more digging to do yet. I've always described myself as a "reluctant gardener", but I'm rather looking forward to it all. I have a goal, you see. And the time to attain it.
Related issue: I ache all over.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
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HP's 300,000 employees
Wait a minute: HP employs 300,000 people??
Three hundred thousand people?
That's nearly Coventry. Actually, it's almost exactly Kingston upon Hull, but Kingston upon Hull is a bit of a mouthful, so I'll stick with "nearly Coventry".
HP employs a city almost the size of Coventry. The mind - well, my mind at any rate - boggles.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
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You must have this bookmarklet
Readability is a superb little bookmarklet that does some css-fu to any web page you're trying to read, and reformats it in a more readable style.
In other words, it instantly turns this:
into this:
Which is just ace. Fabulous. Love it. Shall be keeping it installed on all future browsers, probably forever.
Problems:
- most people you speak to have no idea what a bookmarklet is
- even when you stop to explain it, they still have no idea
- because the concept of a bookmark that isn't a place on the internet is completely alien to all non-nerds
- the same people have no idea that the internet can be messed with like this; they see what's in their browser, adverts and all, and accept it for what it is
I could probably write a book explaining all this to people, but even that won't work. Screencasts might do it.
And if you've read all the above and have no idea what I'm talking about, you've just proved my point.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
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Photos from January 2009
Here they are, look, in this gallery: photos from January 2009
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
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Cash faces its final call
My latest for The Guardian was this piece about the changing state of money: Cash faces its final call.
I wrote the article back in November but it has only just been used in the paper. That happens sometimes.
The essence is this: M-Pesa is a successful mobile banking application in Kenya. It works via text message on any mobile phone. It's huge over there, but that's because debit cards and cash points aren't as widespread as they are here. But that's not to say that there isn't an opportunity for something similar here, and Beem is a UK company trying to do something similar.
This was one of those articles that's fun to write, mainly because the research was interesting and taught me a few things I didn't know already. I enjoyed interviewing Beem's Kerl Haslam (yes, that is his name) and my Kenyan case study Edward Obiko.
I found Ed by searching Twitter for "m-pesa". He had mentioned it several times and I could tell from his tweets and web posts elsewhere that he was an articulate chap. Just the sort of person you need for an interviewee.
I also made brief contact with Olga Morawczynski, a researcher who has published papers about the social and economic impact of mobile banking in Kenya. She had a great deal to tell me but her work was beyond the scope of the brief I was given by The Guardian. Pity, though: I suspect what she had to say would make a (much longer) story in its own right.
Since interviewing Kerl, I do keep noticing situations where a simple text message payment would be incredibly useful.
The most obvious is paying for school dinners: my son's school charges £2 for a lunchtime meal, which means I often have to send a two pound coin into school with him, inside a named and dated envelope. I've lost count of the number of times he's lost it or forgotten to hand it in. If I could just Beem his payment in from my phone, life would be a lot easier.
Right now Beem is concentrating on students, aiming to make paying for taxis and pizzas a little easier. But keep your eyes out for it elsewhere; I have a feeling this one might catch on.
(Wait, though: that's what we said about Beenz and Flooz and all the others...)
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
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