- A detached family house in a popular residential area with above average garden ... No, it’s a box on an estate full of boxes. The rooms are cramped, all the beds built-in, and there’s a horrible stone fireplace built in the living room. The “above average” garden is slightly bigger than those of its neighbours, but that’s the only way it can be considered above average.
- A well-presented end of terrace town house, providing a good balance of sleeping and living accommodation ... Wow, this looks really good. A wonderful conservatory built on the back of the kitchen, light flooding in. We‘re dying to see this house. But it’s been sold before we can pick up the phone.
- The ground floor has welcoming entrance hall ... the dining room, kitchen and conservatory have been designed to act as one large open space ... Yes, this is lovely. A nicely updated home, beautifully decorated. We could move straight in. Shame about the derelict industrial site right across the road.
- Detached modern home on a generous corner plot, ample space for a growing family ... Another nice house. The kitchen/breakfast room is everything we’ve been looking for, there’s a nice size garden, and loads of bedrooms. And we can afford it. There’s only one drawback: it’s in the wrong town.
- A modern semi-detached home on a popular estate, close to local amenities ... Heaven knows why this estate is considered popular. Like all the other homes here, this one has plenty of space inside, but the garden is a tiny scrap of grass, overlooked and underwhelming. Ugh.
- An immaculate and well designed family home, completely refurbished ... Another impressive kitchen/diner/conservatory arrangement, but a pointless en-suite bathroom created from what used to be a fourth bedroom. Nicely done, but not enough space, and miles from town.
- Good sized home at a bargain price ... And you can see why. No parking, no garage, no distance at all from the main road. No good at all.
- Priced to sell quickly ... The owners are emigrating, they're desperate to get rid of this house before they leave. It's not bad, but the stink of gas that lingers in the entrance hall and the downstairs loo is something of a turn-off.
(30th November 2003)