Pretend Office tweets

Some tweets I drafted for the Pretend Office Twitter account… not sure if they ever got used...


“Good services our nouns” Yes! That’s why we’re renaming our Customer Relationship Management System 2000+ service to “Using Customer Relationship Management System 2000+” #alwayslerning

Management update: we plan to be fully agile by Q4 2019

As a Trusted Suppplier for Government, Pretnend Office is proud to declare that we are Fully Compliant with all Standards.

Web tip: View this Tweet in your browser.

Web tip: look out for links in your web! They always begin with “htpp://“ #FollowFriday

Web tip: most websites are just like books or magazines. Try clicking on the weblinks instead of “turning pages” :smiley:

Web tip: “Snapchat” is like Facebook but it works on your phone.

👠 Our Appropriate Emojicons #webinar takes place this afternoon at 10.30am. We’ll be sharing a link soon! 🍉

Are you using Appropriate Emojicons? 🍆 Attend our senimar #webinar #socialmdeia

Pretend OFfice is hiring a DELIVERY MANGER. If you have 10+ years experience in all the following: postal services, driving vans, PostGres, HTML, Dreamwever, Java++, Advanced Web, Advanced Social, Nodo.js and IBM, you should apply! Location: London or the Regions. Salary: don’t put stuff about money in the Tweet please Graham.

Pretend Office is hiring an Agile Project Executive (Marketing/Personel). If you have experience of interviews, CVs, GDPR, Agile Project management, Management, MS Office Mail Merge and InDesign, you should apply! Salary: let’s just put “negotiable” this time and see how it flies, thanks Graham.

Pretend Office is hiring ROCK STAR computing programmers! Are you a ROCK Star? We only want high flyers. You don’t have to be mad to work here but it helps. Keep calm and carry on programmig! Location: the office. Salary: Ask them what they want in the interview Graham, and we’ll see if we can beat them down.

#Strategy: we’re hard at work developing our Strategy, starting with a Vision and Principles to help us write it.

#Strategy: our Strategy strategy is to write a series of discussion papers. We will Discuss these in the Middle Management Executive Assembly Meetings between now and November 2019, prior to re-drafting and Conslutation with Stakeholders. Can’t wait!

Overheard in the office: “Our middle management are among the finest in the industry sector that we’re in!” — Roger B, Deputey Associations Manager (Operations). You gotta laugh!

Overheard in the office: “I fully support our Goal and Visions!” — Amanda, Senior Solutioneering Executive (Customers). Nailed it!

Look out for our new #marketing app: PreTinder! Swipe right for Stakeholder Success!

Look out for our new #property app: always forgetting which of your empty buy-to-lets you allowed your mate to crash in for a few weeks? Keep track with Flat-U-Lent (TM) # millenials

It’s Bring Your Pet to Work day! If anyone has a pet they would like to bring to Pretend Office, please Facebook us immediately.